Category: General

I once wrote a weekly newsletter for small group leaders. In these Thoughts on Discipleship posts, I reprint those articles.

As group leaders, we all long for some level of interaction with those who attend our groups. The way we phrase our questions can affect the extent to which people can respond or even lower the quality of the responses. Here are a few types of questions to avoid.

(These come from an article by Terry Powell entitled “Five Questions that Kill Discussion.”)

Subjective Questions. When you ask people to respond with how they feel about a Biblical passage rather than what it says. “What does verse 2 mean to you?”

Long-Winded Questions. When you ask a question that has too many aspects to put into a concise answer. Try to limit how much you ask at a time. “Looking at how the devil tempts Jesus in the wilderness, what specific qualities and strategies of spiritual warfare does he demonstrate that could also be used against us?”

Leading Questions. When you ask a question with a particular answer in mind and your question’s only correct response is the answer you want. “It’s hot in here, right?”

Compound Questions. Two questions in one. “What toppings do you like on your ice cream, and what is the capital of Connecticut?”

Compulsory Personal Questions. “Frank, could you tell us about a time you doubted God’s faithfulness?”

I once wrote a weekly newsletter for small group leaders. In these Thoughts on Discipleship posts, I reprint those articles.

Do you ever just get quiet and listen?

Today, I am writing this to myself first and whoever else needs it second. There is way too much noise in life, right? There are screens in front of us constantly. I live outside of Las Vegas, Nevada, the city with the most lights and advertising worldwide. If we aren’t intentional about it, we can have distractions going 24/7.

There is value in silence. Here are three ways that silence is useful…

Silence helps us study the Bible more intently. It is important to focus when we explore the scriptures. In silence, we can better avoid distraction and focus on what God is trying to communicate through his Word. CH Spurgeon once said, “Oh, Book of books, the map of the way to glory; that man invokes a terrible curse upon his own head who refuses to study thee! He does, in effect, shut the gate of heaven against himself, and bar the road to everlasting bliss. If you would be saved, dear friend, sit alone, and consider your case, and then study God’s thoughts concerning it.”

Silence helps our prayer life. Jesus said in Matthew 6:6. “But when you pray, go into your private room, shut your door, and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” Quiet allows us to focus on talking to God. Quiet also will enable us to listen. When you pray, pause occasionally. The Holy Spirit may bring people to mind who need prayer. 

Silence helps our teaching. Did you know that? When you get quiet, you have to listen to your own thoughts. This enables you to refine your word choices and control your speech patterns. It also helps you be okay with pauses when speaking. Most people believe they must talk to fill silences, but that often leads to verbal placeholders like “uh” or “um.” When one is used to silence, the need to fill the silence with words decreases. Improving the way we communicate enhances the way we deliver God’s Word.

I once wrote a weekly newsletter for small group leaders. In these Thoughts on Discipleship posts, I reprint those articles.

Let’s talk about prayer.

Prayer is essential for a healthy walk with Jesus, yet it is the one spiritual discipline where all believers can improve. None of us pray too MUCH. Who among us would even claim that?

Research done by Missions International studying prayer in small groups showed that 83% of groups whose leaders have a faithful prayer life have seen people come to faith in Christ from within their group. This does not mean that prayer guarantees conversions. However, it does show that group leaders who are faithful in their respective walks with Christ are more likely to lead faithful groups in their outreach. Make sure there is a time for prayer requests and prayer at your group gatherings, and pray over those requests between meetings.

One trick I learned long ago… if someone asks you to pray for them, do so right then and there. Even if circumstances do not allow you to pray together with the person right then and there, pray for them silently within the next five minutes or less. Then, note the request so you can continue praying for it later. This way, you don’t agree to pray for them and then forget!

One last thing. It is never too late to improve your prayer life. I have been a believer for over 42 years and I still struggle. My finite little brain forgets or doesn’t plan well or gets distracted or fill-in-the-blank-with-your-own-reasons-for-not-praying-enough. If this is an area where you struggle, repent and ask the Holy Spirit to help you! Then get to prayin’! Why we are sometimes reluctant to communicate directly with THE God who created everything we have ever known or experienced is beyond me.