Author: Jon Wellman

Tell me and I’ll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I’ll understand.
—Chinese proverb

I read that proverb this week in the book Discipleship that Fits: The Five Kinds of Relationships God Uses to Help Us Grow by Bobby Harrington and Alex Absalom. They advocate an approach to discipleship that involves a balance of relationships, experience, and information. They illustrate this approach in this way – this may be an interesting experiment for you to do. Take one minute for each of these…

• List five sermons you have heard that have impacted your life for Christ.
• List five things that have happened to you that have impacted your life for Christ.
• List five people whose influence has impacted your life for Christ.

Which list was the easiest to write? For most people, listing five people is the easiest. Harrington and Absalom said, “Discipleship is primarily about imitation over information, and it is through relationships that it most powerfully occurs.” Paul often told others to imitate him as he imitated Christ (1 Cor 4:16, 1 Cor 11:1, Phil 4:9). When Jesus trained the disciples, he did so relationally by living life with them and training them up. When you are in that kind of community with others, imitation can occur.

That is why relationships in our groups are so important. Group leaders… even if you don’t think your group members are watching your life, they are! May we all be able to say that those we lead can follow our example… because we are following Christ.

The last few days have been very sad and alarming. There are other terms I could also use, but for now, those descriptors will have to suffice.

Sometimes a blog serves no better purpose than to mark an occasion, good or bad. This is one of those times.

The school shooting in Nashville is heartbreaking. Three children, three adults, and the assailant dead. Chaos and uncertainty are found in abundance. Answers to pressing questions are uncovered, but more questions take their place.

As a follower of Jesus, I don’t typically ask why these things happen. I know why these things happen. This is a sin-filled world, and sinners living in a sin-filled world will do sinful things. Knowing this does not quench the desire for answers, but it does inform what the end result of those answers will be.

I won’t take the time here to talk about the killer’s motive, afflictions, or pronouns. And while I would describe this senselessness as a hate crime against Christians, whether or not that’s true will not reverse what happened.

None of the particulars negate the tragedy. Many things in today’s culture are called “tragic,” but this violent act truly is tragic. And I grieve for those who lost loved ones. I grieve for the school, church, and community. I pray for restoration, for recovery, and that even in the hardest of circumstances, God will be glorified.

Again, sometimes an occasion just needs to be recognized for its most simple characteristic. This was and is a tragedy.

Why, my soul, are you so dejected? Why are you in such turmoil? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:5 (CSB)

For the next few posts, we’re going to look at an excerpt from David Olsen’s book, Discovering Your Leadership Style. The article is entitled “Lead Like Jesus.”

First, a word about leadership. Some of us are hesitant about calling ourselves “leaders.” There are a number of reasons why this is. To some, leadership is a power-play, where someone just wants to be in charge. Others prefer to see themselves as a guide in the middle of a discussion. Still others see leadership as a responsibility that they do not feel comfortable with, so they sidestep the designation. 

Those who participate in our groups look for examples of how to live. When group attendees ask questions, they are participating, but they are also seeking guidance. Make no mistake – if you are in charge of a small group, you are leading! 

So what are some ways we can lead like Jesus?

Olsen discusses three core foundations of leadership wisdom – instinct, fruitfulness, and multiplication. Today, let’s briefly look at instinct.

There are different definitions of instinct depending on the discipline being discussed, but for our purposes, Olsen defines instinct as “unconscious thoughts or actions that are conditioned into a person through repetitive behaviors, habits, or experiences.”

Leader instincts are developed over time through experience and wisdom. As we lead, we should constantly self-evaluate – how we handle situations, address topics, love and guide others – anything and everything associated with our leadership. The more often you encounter a scenario and handle them wisely, the more your instinct will develop, and the more you’ll see God work in and through your ministry.

We all ought to be seeking to gain experience and wisdom so that we are more effective. For those new to leading a group, this may involve seeking out those who have been leading longer for tips and advice. Books, seminars, and other resources may be helpful as well. Pray that God will give you insight regarding how you can develop your leader instinct so that you are better equipped to handle whatever situations arise. 

What are some situations you’ve encountered that helped you develop your leader instinct? How did they help you with similar situations later on? Comment on IG and Twitter.